Crushin’ On

New worship song i’m crushin’ on = “stronger” by hillsong united

I love singing that God is stronger, My sin is broken, and God has saved me. Hallelujah that is awesome praise. How often do we really believe these words? Or how often do we really attempt to lift God’s name higher. To lift it when we are falling, when we are drowning, when we don’t believe, when others don’t believe?

New idea I’m crushin’ on= buying a blender for milkshake mondays, something has to make them better

New video game i’m crushin’ on= NHL08. K-rob and I made a team, jerseys, and we have been killin’ it every weekend!

Coolest part of weekend i’m crushin’ on= rythum spotlight 7 at the hub friday night. Crazy dance battles, i was so amazed

pop star i’m crushin’ on= britney spears as per usual

band i’m listening to that i’m forming a crush on = the script

Part of Christianity i’m crushin’ on= reinstating heavy scripture and routine fasting.

Without a dedicated focus, sitting back and hoping Christ works through my apathy is spiritual suicide.

Ode to Dan Zecher

What a man. I mean pecks like hard potatoes, diamond ear stud to remind me i’m puny, and apparently, a new gf. So, this is fitting I decided to post this tonight. Congrats to the daniel and the Ali. I’m honored to have even been a small part in the story of your beginnings.

Anyway. When I first met Dan, it was at the ACF beginning of the year picnic. He was a freshman. He immediately began bossing people around, played quarterback in our pick up game and didn’t trust I could handle the position after he threw a pick. That’s how I knew our friendship would be magical. We have gone on road trips to phillies games in freezing whether while I was wearing an eye patch. After the game, he wondered into the subway claiming he knew what he was doing and vanished.

He was with me on two hilarious, awesome Cell Block nights of my life. One of which, while he had a gf, and danced on some girl he never met while giggling. The next experience he was single, but the girl had a bf. Either way, memories were made. He never failed to find humor in any situation, make a bet where the wager was to change his name, and proclaim to stay up all night while going to bed at 11 pm. He fooled us all into thinking he wasn’t coming this past new years, angered everyone, and then showed up with a huge grin on his face. He found ways to ditch ACF, and then he found ways to cling on by doing the announcements. and again, making us all laugh. He found ways to make situations fun, or make fun of the situations he couldn’t make fun. make sense? 

Ode to the man who kills everyone at basketball and poker and yet is always in retirement from them both. Ode to the man who was always in favor of a dance party. Ode to the man knew how to treat a lady right. Ode to Dan, the friend you always wanted around.

Don’t call it a come back

I’m on the verge of something. Hiding out at Calvary doesn’t feel fulfilling at all. I don’t seem to be getting “plugged in” nor attempting to. What does that mean anyway? That’s another Christian term we should really get rid of at our next annual all christians meeting in kansas city.

anyway. Trying to fix my critical worship spirit isn’t going as well as planned. Wanting to leave ACF alone to grow on its own as i grow on my own is still a goal of mine, thus blogging on a wed night at 9. However, Ideas and excitement have come rushing into my head. Ways to grow, change, adapt, infuse joy. What do i do? I don’t want to go back and be the old guy, the guy who won’t leave, the guy that people don’t see his heart to grow college ministry cuz they just wanna make jokes i’m still there. Maybe I can’t make it the full year away. Maybe i’m not meant to. 

Real life is hard. God is good. Seeing them both at the same time is key. I want to be needed somewhere, not to the point where it goes to my head, but to the point where i get dive in and be excited about my involvement and direction. There’s a huge untapped market of creative minds and unchurched college students. I’m not reaching them at calvary. It would be much shorter time period to develop ways to reach them at ACF. because this all isn’t about me. it’s about everyone else. If i’m most effective their, regardless of my age, maybe that’s enough direction for me.

like i said, i’m on the verge…

amneszia

I gots a mayjer head injuri and kudn’t member how to type. That is y ther has not been any posts fur a while. furgiv me as I learn to type again and share stories of my life, scripture, and the fasanating wurld i liv in.

But seriously, it’s time to bring back the blog for 2010. My next series will be an “ode to” series, I will take individuals who have played a prominent role in my life and give them their own post/shout out. You’ll never know who I will put up.

I’ve also finished journeys through Luke and the Corinthian brothers. I’m venturing into John and Galatians. That should add some insight to break up the meaningless but fun Ode To series. 

ahh. It’s good to be back.

Luke. I am your chapter 6.

Don’t glance over this. Don’t assume you learned it in sunday school, so you move on by. There are really deep, hard, and challenging issues here. We use them in sunday school because they are that important. Alas, let’s review.

It starts out, as Andrew Mclean and I refer, with some “Ownage of Pharisees by Jesus.” They again try to catch Jesus screwing something up, only for him to reply quickly with a speech about the old testament and David. finishing with “The Son of Man is lord of the Sabbath.” Oh Dang! Owned! He straight up told them he was the boss of the holy day and he will set the rules. Love it.

Moving on to Jesus healing. It is interesting to note, that as Jesus notices people waiting for him to heal on the sabbath, he asks the man to stretch out his hand. We know he didn’t have to do that to be healed. That’s Jesus’ way of seeing our faith and action. Are we willing to stretch out towards him in order to be used, healed, called, directed, etc?

for a curious note, when he called the 12 disciples, he “chose from them 12.” How many were there? Who got cut? What did it take to make the cut? Ordained? pre-destined? crazy

Love your enemies. No, seriously, love them. I love when Jesus speaks to “those who hear.” Are you listening to God? even trying to? IF you are, it’s clear: love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, pray for those who abuse you. How tough is that? Really? To really do that seems impossible. Think about someone you don’t get along with. Or can’t stand to be around. Or who makes it tough to “love” them. Can you do it? Can you swallow your pride? On a daily basis, that adds up to real tough.

Jesus even says if you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? I love that. He calls us out for hanging around our safe church bubble of friends. Our “hey everybody is happy and easy to get along with here” crowd. Break out people. Break out Cody. Give yourselves opportunities to love those who hate you. or don’t like you. or who don’t want to get along.

Judge not, and you will not be judged. forgive, and you will be forgiven. simple words. easy to gloss over. hard words though. Judging is very difficult not to do. That’s a blog in it’s own right. think it already is one. but probably due for another one.

Don’t let these messages miss you. They can deeply impact your life, the way you live it, and the way you let yourself be challenged.

New Beginnings

Yea, I even made it facebook official. That’s how all in I am this time around. We are together and enjoying the heck out of it. Here’s to second chances and figuring things out this time around! She’s absolutely great and if you disagree, you’re wrong. I’ll stop talking about her and get back to the word. Prepare yourselves. For Luke chapter 6 is coming. And coming to rock your world, change your life, and slap you in your silly face.

A moment in time that cannot be forgotten

Last night was the first night I was allowed to see Lauren in 30 days. We planned on me taking her on a date and we would go from there. I won’t go into details of the date because I can’t be that guy via blog, but ask me if your curious

The moments building up to seeing her face were so intense. I sat in the car for a few minutes trying to compose myself, my nerves, my excitement. I had waited 30 days to see her. Had a speech and entrance planned that I was starting to forget or getting nervous about how it would go. It was incredible. I will never forget seeing her face for that first time in a while. My heart did backflips. I’m not that much of an emotional kind of guy. But she got to me. The whole night I could always feel myself smiling. I don’t know if it gets better than that.

Sure, you can mumble under your breath about it being “one of those situations” that I’ve heard 3 people do so far. Here’s the thing, I don’t care. I care about a lot of other things that people think about me for some reason, but this, nope. The silence break was her idea. And it was hard, but needed. We hadn’t removed ourselves from the relationship at all. We seemed to still act all coupleish. It needed to happen. We needed to figure out what we wanted, who we were in the Lord for real, and how to go from here. I was thankful for it. I also know that I never want to do that again.

I don’t know. There’s a small window into my thoughts on relationships, which I rarely give via blog, especially my own.

Anxious

Two Days. 

 

Homesick

I was listening to the song Homesick by mercy me in the car on the way home from work tonight. I’ve always been amazed at the Christians that truly felt homesick of Heaven because they knew that was their destination. They knew that was home and sometimes yearned to be there instead of here. Not me. I normally like what I got going on down here and have so much yet to experience. I’m not going to say that this one time I listened to it drastically changed my mind, but I will say it was my first experience of having the feelings and emotions of wanting to be in heaven instead of here. And it’s not a “I wish I was dead” thing, it’s just the thought of being with jesus is so overwhelmingly awesome, that it seems better. and it is better, we just don’t see it like that yet because Heaven is so hard to grasp. 

Tonight, I felt it. If home is where my heart is, than I’m out of place. That’s what the song says. I wanted to be in heaven because I wanted to never experience failure again. I notice that failure comes up a lot in my life and as a guy, I don’t take well to it. Whether this be my job, relationships, leading worship, talking to somebody about Jesus, or worse, not talking to somebody about Jesus, Failure comes up a good amount. It is hard on me. I feel the pressure that who I am isn’t good enough for people at times. That when people mistake confidence for cockiness, that’s on my to fix before I bother all of the collective society. That when I don’t complete a task well, i’m viewed as less competent and have to make up for it so much more next time to replace that thought. That when I say one thing about my faith and who I am, and live another, I’ve tragically ruined somebody else’s view of Christ, the church, or myself.

So tonight was the first overwhelming thoughts of that. Heaven is a place where I can be with my saviour, never have to fail him or another person again. I never have to go through doubting him again. I never have to try and explain the things I can’t explain. It was a comforting thought. Alas, the  moment fades, I’m still here and still faced with the challenges of trying to improve as a human and a believer in Christ.

I don’t have any concluding point, other than that it shocked me I felt what I felt. I don’t know if you’ve ever experiences that. It’s wild. Worth while.

I’m still trying to figure out the line

I’ve been convicted a lot recently about judging. Dan preached about it this morning at Calvary. I believe that judging is strictly a negative thing. If you make an assumption about somebody that is a good thing, I don’t think i view that as sin or judging. Anyway some valid points were made, “Can we criticizes a painting before the painter has finished?” He also told a story of how a father’s son really had to go pee while they were at the pool, but the dad didn’t want to leave yet, so he told him to just pee in the pool. So a few minutes later there is a commotion at the pool, Dad looks up to see his son standing by the pool peeing into it. Funny, sure. Crazy follow up point though: “There isn’t a single one of us whose pee isn’t polluting the water.” They both pee in the pool, one is just more obvious.

I am very ashamed when I look back at times that I’ve judged others. Or worse, the way I’ve justified judging others. Our society is crazy in that judgement slips into the subtle realm where we don’t even notice it anymore. It’s par for the course. Jesus was the most approachable person there was, if we really started living like him, we would be as well. The people that we judge the most inside the church: The partyers. The ones who come to church, but still drink like a regular PSU student. You know who I’m talking about,  you have some one in mind right now. We judge, we hate, we question there heart. We are furthest form being able to throw the first stone, but we blind ourselves to think it’s still ok to hold it and contemplate the throw.

This is one of many areas that I feel needs to change in my life. I am a very confident, opinionated, stubborn person. I know what I believe for the most part, whether that be faith, sports, or whatever. I’m quick to let you know what I think or why your wrong. It’s a tragic flaw. Sure, You should know what you believe, but when is James 1:19 ever going to be evident in my life? Where is the line of change and acceptance? How much do you attempt to change without compromising who you are? I don’t want to be one of those guys that offends people and simply says, whatever, I’m not changing who I am. I also don’t want to change who God has made me to be. That’s a tough line. I sometimes feel like people want you to change, but they also won’t let you. 

I wish that Mercy and Grace were more evident first, in me, and second in the church. Imagine this place with those two characteristics driving our community. Instead of focusing on how to tell people to sin less, or change, or be a better Christian, there would be forgiveness, healing, and encouragement. We can’t get over ourselves. 

I find it hard to figure out a way to tell people I’m wrong. But I know I can’t get over myself at times. I get so close to what I think is “all figured out” only to stumble backward wondering how far I really am.